Read Susan Rosenthall’s Talk from the January Tikkun Olam Service
March 2, 2012
I have been thinking about intentions, and how the best intentions can go array if awareness isn’t there — or how obliviousness can so easily become wounding. Here is how it happened on my watch:
As part of the small group planning this service, we were excited to take on what I call the Lord Voldemort issue, the one that cannot be (or has not been) named, the one that it seems we have so often shied away from talking about—economic disparities within our community.
So a small group of us from the Tikkun Olam Committee met several times and struggled with how to address this in a thoughtful way, in the framework of a service. We came up with ideas and discarded them. We argued with one another about various ways to proceed. But at last we came up with a way that we thought would work, the idea of asking several people who were facing economic pressures to tell their stories.
I felt pretty good — and kind of excited– about it all. And then last month in Nicaragua, Jacob Rosenblum and I were talking one day as we hiked from one village to another, about the service. He asked me what we were doing to address the other side of the equation, not just to focus on those without economic power but on those who wielded it. His question rocked my boat a bit – but I was enough of a sixties activist to ‘get ’ what he was saying – that ‘just’ stories from people who were hurting or challenged economically was not a balanced presentation of the whole of economic equity and inequity at Havurah.
Back in Portland, I told the Tikkun Olam Committee that I had been thinking of my conversation in Nicaragua, and that we had to find ‘somebody’ to tell ‘the other side’ of the story. Some people wondered what kind of story people who didn’t seem to be hurting economically would have to share. “It’s about power,” I managed to say but I couldn’t explain it very well.
And then two weeks ago, as I was making phone calls to the folks to encourage them to come to the dinner and this service, I was asked, “There is a place on the dinner sign-up form for people to contribute extra, beyond the cost of the dinner. But there isn’t any place on the signup form to allow people to pay less so they can attend.”
It was one of those stomach-dropping “we blew it” moments, wherein I realized that despite all our efforts to be thoughtful about how we structured the service, and how to word the publicity, we had had our heads in the sand nonetheless.
Here we were presenting a forum for us all to think about increasing our sensitivity to and understanding of economic issues within our community, and we were blind to this very central issue of the cost of the dinner preceding the service. Here was a service to which we had invited people to share stories of economic challenges they were facing and yet were oblivious to this economic issue within our community, right in front of our nose. And moreover, that someone with ‘economic issues’ had to bring it up (though thank goodness they were willing to reach out and do that ) — but you have to think that that the bringing it up is always not easy, and it shouldn’t have had to be brought up in the first place.
This has led me, in the last 2 weeks, to a lot of thinking about power. Here’s what I’ve been thinking: that I (and I imagine most of you) don’t like to think about ourselves as having ‘power’ vis-a-vis others, and especially in our Havurah community. We think of our community as egalitarian, right………… But –and this is just how I have framed it — isn’t the essence of power about being in a position to ‘screw up’ and that ‘screwing up’ hurts someone else more than yourself? I think we as a Tikkun Olam Committee (and as Havurah members) have the power in all we do, including planning this dinner and service, to be aware and thoughtful and conscious. And hopefully we are, mostly. But we also weren’t. And in that way, we abused our power.
Of course, once I shared with the Tikkun Olam Committee what had happened, the forms for signing up for the dinners we are hosting going forward were changed, to allow folks to easily, confidentially and with dignity, request assistance with the costs of the dinner, with the monies to come from our Tikkun Olam budget.
But here’s the lesson for me: I know how upset………and hurt……….and angry……… and invisible and apart I feel when I hear of an event in the Portland community on Yom Kippur. Or when something is said that presumes all couples are heterosexual, or that all families are two-parent families. And I feel these feelings even more so if the event is billed as ecumenical, or honoring diversity, for then I would especially expect the greatest awareness. These are MY issues, and I want others to understand them and be respectful of them, and most especially my Havurah community. But around these issues too, hurtful things have happened. And I’ve felt invisible, and apart. Not from mean-spiritedness, I know, but from obliviousness and lack of awareness, and, I think, lack of a deep and real understanding of what it means to be ‘other’, in the minority, to have less power.
This time I was part of the perpetrator of the hurt, the wounding, the setting apart. This has been a humbling lesson for me. I have had to realize yet again about the power of the blinders we all wear. And that good intentions are good– but not quite enough. I think what really matters is continuing to push through to an understanding of how life looks from where another stands, ‘on the other side’. That’s the lesson I have to keep on learning, and that I wanted to talk with you about……….. so hopefully we can all do better going forward.
Susan Rosenthall
Sign up now for the Havurah Book Group: Third Group meets on Monday March 19
February 28, 2012
Don’t miss the third book in this series by our Scholar in Residence, Rabbi Sheila Peltz-Weinberg and don’t forget to save the date for our Scholar in Residence Weekend April 27th – 29th.
Havurah Book Group: Personal Stories
Monday, March 19th:: 7:00-8:30 pm
We invite you to share thoughts and impressions in discussion of this memoir/novel. Presented by the Lifelong Learning Committee.
Suprisingly Happy: An Atypical Religious Memoir by Rabbi Sheila Peltz Weinbergour Scholar-in-Residence
RSVP with the Havurah office by March 5th
Are you happy because you are getting older or because youve found spiritual peace?
Snapshots of Rabbi Weinbergs life, as told through poetry, prayers, and accounts of this Jewish Baby Boomers experiences, offer clues about her search to find God, and carves a path for others to learn from her journey. It addresses her spiritual quests through yoga and meditation, and provides a candid look at her struggles with addiction, her philosophy of feminism, and her life as a wife, mother and grandmother. The book incorporates the author’s eye witness accounts of many iconic events of her generation: the 1968 student protests at Columbia University; the challenges of the Peace Corps in Chile in the late 60s; the outbreak of the 1973 Yom Kippur War; the influence of Eastern practice on Western religion; the breakthrough of women into religious leadership; and the Feb. 15th, 2003 massive movement to stop the war in Iraq. Rabbi Weinberg also relates equally engaging anecdotes of less dramatic, yet impactful, rituals of everyday life: Senior prom, family, holidays, and a complex relationship with her mother.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: A life-long advocate for peace and justice, Rabbi Weinberg has been active in Rabbis for Human Rights, an international organization that gives voice to the Jewish search for justice. She is a co-founder of the Institute for Jewish Spirituality in New York City, and leads workshops and retreats for Jewish professionals and social justice activists.
LAST CHANCE!!! Register now the March 9th Kabbalat Shabbat Dinner and Service! Extended RSVP DEADLINE is March 4
February 27, 2012
Cost adjustments for the dinner are available on the registration form and anyone who wants to attend dinner is welcomed. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE A DETERRENT FOR THOSE WHO WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND. Contact Mario at the Havurah office for more information.
You may be missing out on a very special Havurah community experience if you have not attended one of our Second Friday Kabbalat Shabbat evenings. Join us for a modestly-priced dinner and a music-filled Shabbat service led by Rabbi Joey with music provided by Margie Rosenthal, Haley Weiner, Scott Snyder, John Duke and Steve Rudman.
Don’t miss out! Please RSVP by Thursday, March 4 (Extended Deadline)
Please pay online. Please note that there is a $1.00 service charge for online registration.
If you cannot join us for dinner at 6:30, then please come at 7:30 for this very inspirational service followed by the oneg Shabbat and dessert. It’s a lovely way to transition to Shabbat following the long work and school week. Bring a friend to join you!
LAST CHANCE! RSVP BY FEB 17TH for Tikkun Olam Shabbat Dinner and Service on February 24th
February 14, 2012
PLEASE NOTE:
Cost adjustments for the dinner are available on the registration form and anyone who wants to attend dinner is welcomed. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE A DETERRENT FOR THOSE WHO WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND.
Warm Comfy Food on a Cold Winter Night!
Dinner at 6:30 pm
Services to begin at 7:30 pm
Please RSVP by February 17.
Join your Havurah family for the 4th Friday night Shabbat Dinner and Services Hosted by the Tikkun Olam Committee
Check out the February Hakol for more information and registration flier.
Featuring: Maize Catering
Healthy, Fresh, Seasonal Soups and Salads
Supporting Oregon farmers and local business
You are welcome at services even if you cannot attend the dinner
Download the form and send it in or register online!
Dinner will provide dairy-free, gluten-free, and nut-free choices.
You are invited to bring wine/juice to celebrate Shabbat.
Sign up now for the Havurah Book Group: Second Group meets on Monday February 27th!
February 7, 2012
Don’t miss the second book in this series by Havurah’s own, Rob Freedman and don’t forget to save the date for our Scholar in Residence Weekend April 27th – 29th.
Havurah Book Group: Personal Stories
Monday, February 27th: 7:00-8:30 pm
We invite you to share thoughts and impressions in discussion of this memoir/novel. Presented by the Lifelong Learning Committee.
Fancypants by Rob Freeman
Register by February 13th
“Fancypants is part memoir, part novel. It’s one Jewish boy’s attempt at coming of age in a time period (1955-1966) when his whole generation is trying to do the same. Buddy Foreman’s story is one of hopefulness and humor, but also of despair and meanness. Like all kids, Buddy wants answers to some basic questions: Why can’t I have more fun around here? Why don’t my parents listen to me when I talk? What do I count for? Why can’t I draw on the walls? And what’s the deal with being Jewish?”
There is one book left in the series….
March 19th: Suprisingly Happy: An Atypical Religious Memoir by Rabbi Sheila Peltz Weinbergour Scholar-in-Residence
Register by March 5th
